


Something in the way

by sallysimpsons



Series: 90s boyfriends [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: 1990s, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallysimpsons/pseuds/sallysimpsons
Summary: There's a record he forgot to put back last night and Luke flips it back to Side A, and as the music starts he thinks about Alex, who would make a comment about his obsession with this record, and smiles a little.or: Luke and Alex living in Bobby's garage, winter 1995.
Relationships: Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: 90s boyfriends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014297
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	Something in the way

**Author's Note:**

> so - apparently I wasn't planning on joining on the whole "Alex and Luke are exes" train but here I am. This is what happens when I listen to Nirvana's Live Unplugged at work, I guess. 
> 
> (this is for marti and fra <3)

_ First things first, we  _

Luke has been staring at his notebook's page for a while now, trying to write a new song. Every word that seems to work perfectly in his head sounds awful when he writes it down, and if he tries to play it on the melody he has been playing over and over for the past few days, it’s even worse. He has repeated that first line out loud so many times that the words are starting to lose their meaning. He’s surprised he hasn’t started writing it down over and over like that guy from the Shining (he’s still blaming Bobby for making them see that one). Normally he would ask his bandmates for help, but this song is so personal he wants to do it all by himself. He's so used to their inputs now that he is apparently unable to do it, though, and after a while, he's so frustrated that he puts his guitar back in its case and decides to play a record instead. He doesn't like to listen to other band's music too much when he's into his writing process because he's afraid he's going to steal lyrics or music from them, but he has written so little so far that maybe changing his usual methods might help him. Bobby has been nice enough to bring his record player to the studio, and all of the boys have brought some of their records over. Alex's collection has been completely moved to the studio along with his stuff not long before Luke moved there, and the two of them have been sharing the space. They've been so good at hiding there that Bobby's parents are still unaware that two teenagers have been sleeping in their garage. It gets quite cold at night but it's free and it's not like the two of them can afford anything else. They're starting to make little money now with their gigs, and Luke is quite positive that by the end of the year they're going to have enough to rent their own apartment. Alex isn't thrilled at the idea of hiding in Bobby's garage for a whole year, but he's not going to move back with his parents who hate him since he came out. 

There's a record he forgot to put back last night and Luke flips it back to Side A, and as the music starts he thinks about Alex, who would make a comment about his obsession with this record, and smiles a little. They’ve all been spending a lot of time together because of rehearsals and gigs, and even more with Alex because of their living arrangement and he loves how he can seem to predict a lot of their moves, he knows their quirks and can read their expressions. He wouldn’t trade it for anything else. 

When they first became a band, Luke had imagined living together with his bandmates - what he didn’t imagine was that it was going to happen all of a sudden, and way before graduation. At this point he doubts they’ll even graduate, Luke can’t remember the last time both he and Alex set foot into their high school. 

He flops down on the couch and lets himself be surrounded by the sound, trying to let himself go completely, trying not to think about his parents and all the hard decisions he has been taking in the past couple of months. For just a moment he wants to feel like a normal teenager again, listening to his records in his own room. His head is resting on the back of the couch, his eyes closed, and just when it seems to start working, someone sits unceremoniously next to him, completely ignoring any personal space, and he doesn't have to open his eyes to know it's Alex. That and the fact that Reggie would’ve started talking even before entering the studio, and Bobby always brought him food from the house, and Luke is sure that this person hasn’t carried any food with him. Just thinking about food makes his stomach grumble - he has forgotten to have lunch, once again. He turns to Alex then, trying to ignore his stomach, and opens his eyes. 

His friend is looking at him with a stern face. He knows what's coming, just as he was picturing in his head. "This record, Luke. Again." 

"It's a fucking masterpiece," Luke protests, arms crossed on his chest. 

"Well, yes, it is because it's a record _ I _ bought. That doesn't mean you shouldn't stop listening to it six times a day." 

"Oh shut up, I don't listen to any record six times because I'm usually writing or playing with you guys." 

"And why aren't you writing right now?" Alex asks, shooting a look at the closed notebook on the table in front of them. Luckily Luke has remembered to close it, so Alex can’t see the mess he has done on the page, with every single line crossed out, except for that first one.  _ First things first, we.  _

"Lack of inspiration," Luke explains briefly, eyeing the guitar case lying on the ground not far from him. He's tempted to play that melody to his friend, but he's resolved to do this on his own. He thinks, once again, about the face his mother had when he decided to leave. How heartbroken she looked. How, as he rode his bike down the street, he thought about turning back a thousand times but he didn’t. And now it’s too late to go back. There’s a song in there, in that night, but the right words don’t seem to come out. 

When he turns back to Alex he has let his head fall onto the backrest of the couch. "What is that sad face?" 

"It's - you're not -" Luke knows Alex well enough to know that when he can't form a coherent sentence, it means he's trying to say something serious. He doesn't interrupt him, waits patiently for him to get his thoughts together. "I worry about you, Luke," he says, in the end. 

"Why?" He asks. Alex, of course, would worry about him, as if he’s not in a similar, if not worse, situation. 

"Because you hardly ever go out, and when you're here if you're not playing alone or with us, you're listening to the same records over and over," he answers. 

"Don't worry, Alex, I'm fine." He wants to reassure him and he wants to thank him for how much this means to him. How Alex - and Reggie, and Bobby too, of course, all of them, are his family now. And he does it in the way that seems to be working the best for them at the moment, he closes the gap between his and Alex's face and kisses him. A few months ago they both would've been taken aback by the gesture, but by now Alex's lips are familiar to him and the way he passes his right hand through Luke's hair and pulls him closer and the way Luke’s whole body responds to it, it’s - they're family and this is what family does, right? Right. 

They don't pull back until they hear the scratch of the record when Side A is over. The silence in the garage is suddenly louder than the music that was playing just a few moments before. They're looking at each other for what feels like an eternity but they don’t seem to be able to say anything. They won't talk about it, just like they didn't the times that happened before - the several times, he has lost count by now. They won't talk about it because of their friendship, because they’re living together and the band is too important and Luke is afraid to ruin everything. Talking about it would mean acknowledging it and make it more real. He's terrible at talking, that's the thing. He knows how to write songs and recently not even  _ that _ . It’s confusing enough to kiss a boy for him, let alone his best friend. The bond they had has always been strong, from the first day they met, but now that they’re both runaways it has become stronger. 

In the end, it's Alex who breaks their eye contact contest and gets up to flip the record to side B. He slowly walks back to the couch and Luke can tell that Alex is having a similar train of thoughts, but doesn’t say anything. Kurt Cobain is singing again and Alex is sitting again next to him on the couch, and now he’s the down to start kissing Luke, and now this record will have a whole other meaning attached to it, and maybe he will finally stop listening to it because he doesn’t want to think about kissing Alex more than he already does. He’s caressing his cheek when Alex pulls away and they’re looking at each other again, their breaths heavy and Luke is quite sure they’re on the verge of a breaking point and there won’t be any going back from that. Luke clears his throat in a feeble attempt or regaining composure. Alex does it too, and he’s the one to start talking. 

"Luke -" he says, but is interrupted by someone entering the garage. They’re both startled by the presence and Alex gets up from the couch, as if that would be less suspicious - it’s quite the opposite, really, but their friend isn’t even looking at them. 

"Not this record  _ again _ !" Reggie complains, voice loud. They won’t talk about it, not even this time. 


End file.
